Refreshed, Afresh.

ahhhhhhhh. nothing feels better than having a 19 hour sleep to catch up on the lack of sleep i’ve had. it was amazingly peaceful, i didn’t wake up even once. haha. i woke up with a fresh and peaceful mind, though still groggily trying to get up from the comforts of my bed. as i showered, the haunting memories that were filling up my thoughts slowly began to relinquish.

so currently playing psp lying down nothing to do, as usual. chatting with anelie and rina and browsing through the internet for vans shoes =l. dunno which to buy. anelie’s gonna accompany me (: help me to choose, anyone? =X

Not there, not yet.

okay so just now was the first time i went to a soccer training after almost 5-6 months. felt somewhat confident to be joining a new club with new players. 5 mins into the training and that confidence was all shattered into tiny pieces. countless thoughts ran through my mind as i was in despair trying to retrieve my long lost skills. thoughts like “what the hell is wrong with me?” and “i should have regularly played last time” buzzed through my head like a busy road filled with honking cars. once again, i live my life with regrets and this part of life where i went wrong is probably one of the parts where i regret deeper than the others. as fear and nervousness slowly crept more and more into me as each second waved by, there was a voice that pierced right through the loneliness i felt on the field, the feeling of being alone. it was the sound of the coach saying “hey, relax, we’re all friends here. there isn’t any pressure on you so dont try too hard, i see you trying so hard. take it easy, i’ll help, no, we’ll help you get there. we’ll not only help you get there, we’ll get there with you. together, as a team”. thats when i know, yes, this is where my turning point will be.

i’m not there, but dont worry, it doesnt end here, im just not there yet, but with teamwork and a little bit of bonding, i dont see why i cant end up where i want to be. its a destination not only me, but the whole team will reach. (:

Screw you

to a certain someone, who holds so much ego inside, and thinks i want to be you, well you got that wrong. who the hell wants to be you? if you really thought that way, i have nothing to say. i gotta admit, you left me speechless. not in a manner where im speechless because you assumed, but because im speechless that i’ve achieved something unknowingly. once again, you were fooled. short post, i cant be bothered to spend my time posting about shit like this.

to think i was stupid enough to feel that you were changing for the better. oh well’s. i dont need to quote “like what people say, loser”. i just make my own quotes. (:

like syafiq says, fuck you biatch.

Ciao Ciao.

today, i went to the airport in the morning to send nadya off. what started off as a hectic morning turned to be quite a fun day. i was heavily rushed by nadya cause it was already 1230 when she called and i hadn’t even got ready. so quickly rushed through and caught up with nads, gt and eugene about an hour later at the airport. screw them for eating such sumptious food when im fasting, haha. kidding. i realized that fasting has made me into a more reliable man. i am more patient when it comes to dealing with obstacles/difficulties that approach me now. i tend to take things slow and not go overboard(most of the time) and the best part about it is the satisfaction you get after a whole day of fasting. the feeling of satisfaction is unexplainable yet unfathomable. okay stop all that. this post shall be dedicated and will be about the friend who has left to go back to her hometown.

since the start of school, i personally feel that nadya’s my closest friend, in school definitely, and outside arguably one of the closer ones. hah. throughout the times when i was with my ex and we had countless problems every second of life, there was a figure that never failed to be there when in need. the shoulder you could lean on, the tissue to wipe your tears, the flame that keeps the torch burning, that’s nadya to you. what i can say is we clique really well due to our open-mindedness and our way of thinking. we are almost simliar thinkers when it comes to almost everything. even though we have very firm beliefs of life, we somehow manage to agree with one another. that perhaps enhanced and tightened the bond that we have to ensure a fun and enjoyable friendship. never afraid to share problems with one another, i can safely say we know more things about each other than the other people in our class who tries to know about us. haha. to those who think we have something going on, we are just friends, close friends but nothing more than that. so nadya, hope you enjoy your visit back to indo and do miss meeeeee~ =D

this may be Adios, but it will never be Goodbye. (:

Afresh

as tears of the past trickled down my face, i have decided that it’s time for me to move on. the past, as they all say, will always be the past, and there’s nothing i can do to change it. but the future is something i am in control of, its within a grasp. i have decided to abandon blogger because its been giving me so many problems. and i hate livejournal for a reason so here comes wordpress. =D i’ll try to update regularly here but as usual priority will always go to my personal blog ^_^. im not going to spend too much time dwelling over things. im clueless as to what’s becoming of me. i feel empty yet full. boredom strikes my mind almost every time i think of something. i constantly feel like i need to be doing something ‘extreme’. well, being on the lappie 24/7 certainly does not fall into that category. hah. i feel like a caged beast, waiting to be unleashed to vent my frustration and rage to whatever that’s coming my way. at the same time i feel it all wont happen due to a timid side of me desperately clinging on to nothing. haha. enough with all this. so basically, in the future, i’d like to come to this blog only to educe all the memories that will fill my heart, be it bittersweet memories or not.

its time to get up, this is the start of something new.